And so 2011 approaches its end. It's been an enormously busy term, with no real time to blog- but I couldn't let 2012 arrive without marking out a couple of highlights from the Autumn Term.
2011 was a turbulent year at my school. A major staff restructure, and some dramas within year groups, meant that September marked the start of a new chapter. It has been a time for challenge and change, and my personal ambition was to try new things, be bold and try new things in the classroom that hadn't been done in our school before.
The first of these has taken the shape of planning a residential visit for the Year 4s. After my old year group partner left and I awaited the arrival of my new one, I got a bit trip-happy and booked a whole load of them. The most significant was a plan to go to Ufton Court in Berkshire, as part of our work on Tudors. It's a beautiful place, and highly atmospheric. It also has the distinction of being the only house of its age to allow children to sleep in it, as opposed to near it.
There are lots of activities on offer, from archery to Tudor games and even a dramatic re-enactment of a raid on the house (as it was indeed subjected to in the past). They generally cater for Year 4 groups, with many schools using them as a primer for later residential visits.
I'd never tried to organise something like this before, and I can honestly say it has been incredibly time-consuming but very exciting. The risk assessment alone was special- going from the centre of London to seeing actual horses and cows within the space of a couple of hours was a rare experience!
We will be heading there in the new year- stay tuned for more on how it goes.
Back on the day visits, and this term we also tried something new in the form of Wandsworth Museum:
Admittedly the workshop we did (Village Inventors) probably only really works for schools within the vicinity of the borough of Wandsworth, they are a growing museum and know how to get children enthused about topics that have traditionally been a bit more dry, and certainly less the focus of school trips.
We did also visit the Science Museum, which was excellent as usual, and included a drama show for 40 mins by a Michael Faraday actor- the Science Museum have this picture of him, but we think there may be others (equally good, according to my year group partner).
Although this came at an extra charge (£3 per child), it was well worth it. In addition to our visit to the Energy gallery (although Launchpad is more playground-like), this helped us with our Circuits/Electricity topic.
Back at school, it was time to start thinking about Christmas. This meant the annual return to the catalogue of Out of the Ark, eventually settling on It's a Cracker for my colleagues and me in Years 3 and 4. Every one of these good-quality productions has at least one particularly annoyingly catchy tune- this time it was In My Day- Track 3, with a needlessly over-repeated chorus that I am still trying to ditch from my brain. What productions were in action at your school?
It all went well, and though there's much else I'd love to catch up on, it's important that the only thing I overdo this season is the festivities. If anything from 2011 still seems relevant in the new year, I will do some retrospective blogging. Otherwise, it's time to write some more new plans and experiences.
Happy Holidays, and have a great start to 2012!
Monsieur Chips
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Saturday, 3 September 2011
Back to School: The Essential Rituals
And so, as I disembarked a plane that had left a 30 degrees-celsius Spain, and stepped out into the chilly 14 degrees of Luton Airport last week, it felt truly like Autumn for the first time this year. Since then the temperature has mercifully climbed, but it was an early warning. With it coms the thoughts that will all to soon feel real again- dark mornings and afternoons, early starts and a close personal relationship with scarves and hats.
Yes, on Monday I return to school (properly- I've been in over the break as so many others) for the first of two Inset days, followed by the return of the children on Wednesday.
It is a momentous time for the school. Next week sees the launch of a huge restructure of our two-form entry school. Many support staff have gone, and in their place are a string of 'additional teachers' who will provide a third level of streaming in each year group for Maths and Literacy. We have several new members of staff. It's the start of the first full year for our Deputy Head. Only three teachers are staying in their previous classrooms, and only two are staying in the same year group.I'm pleased to say I'm one of them- no year group, no room move for the first time since I joined the school. I do, though, have my fourth year-group partner in as many years. I am assured this is nothing personal.
The last school-related advert I saw was this one:
Next, the link to Breis' website for his workshop company, Student of Life:
http://www.studentoflife.co.uk/
and a video to his own song, Identity- not necessarily ideal for primary classroom use, but an indication of his talent:
Yes, on Monday I return to school (properly- I've been in over the break as so many others) for the first of two Inset days, followed by the return of the children on Wednesday.
It is a momentous time for the school. Next week sees the launch of a huge restructure of our two-form entry school. Many support staff have gone, and in their place are a string of 'additional teachers' who will provide a third level of streaming in each year group for Maths and Literacy. We have several new members of staff. It's the start of the first full year for our Deputy Head. Only three teachers are staying in their previous classrooms, and only two are staying in the same year group.I'm pleased to say I'm one of them- no year group, no room move for the first time since I joined the school. I do, though, have my fourth year-group partner in as many years. I am assured this is nothing personal.
The last school-related advert I saw was this one:
Now I'm seeing ads about the usual pre-term rituals- buying stationery, shirts, shoes and such like.
Which got me thinking about the rituals and essentials I will have to ensure I have for my own sanity before going back next week.
1. Check the shoes. Yes, it sounds odd to say it, but I got through at least 4 pairs of shoes last year despite only using them at school. The sheer amount of pacing, striding and occasional playing football (still proud of my 20-yard left-footed lob on that 7 yr-old into the 'goal'- a gap in a fence). This year I am determined to avoid the feeling on that first rainy day where I realise I have a hole in my shoe.
2. Know where the stock is. Every year I am about 15 minutes into a lesson when I realise that despite hours of preparing all sorts of fancy laminated stuff I've forgotten something obvious and crucial, like sharpeners or felt tips. Cue 10 mins of chaos while I try and find them and mentally panic at the potential to cost all future behaviour management of the brief loose time it takes to find the sharpeners.
3. Make sure my Allan Ahlberg and Roald Dahl poetry books are at the ready. I don't know how many awkward gaps in the timetable I filled last year with poems such as The Ghost Teacher, Scissors and Supply Teacher.
4. Remember the names of the new staff. Hence the title pictures. So far I have already mixed up two colleagues repeatedly, and it's not even the first day back yet. Hopefully Ann/Shirley/Elaine/Tara/Barbara/Lizzie is an understanding person.
5. Use the time on the Inset days. Every year, 2 days. Every year, hours to tidy a classroom. Every year, still rushing about at 8.50am while the children line up outside.
6. If you've worked at the school before, remember that fact. The children do still know who you are. Ramping up the appearance of being strict and humourless doesn't work if the same kids saw you cracking horrendously bad jokes or missing the hoop eight times in a row during a rowdy Staff vs Pupils netball game the previous term.
7. Be positive. A serious one, this. Our restructure caused a huge amount of negativity to fly about last term, which really just made everything far worse for everyone. Nothing is perfect, but if it's not serious enough to warrant an attempt to leave the school, it's so much better to try not to get roped in by the complainers. Letting off steam is one thing, but constant criticism and moaning of how the place is so awful is the ultimate parasite for morale and success. This year I plan to keep my head down as much as possible and just try and have a great year of teaching my class and keep sensible enough hours in the building to avoid resentment of the place, especially in the winter!
8. Know your sources of inspiration. The three things that most kept me going during harder times last year were R.F. Delderfield's book (and the DVD of the TV series), To Serve Them All My Days, which restored my faith in keeping the value of sticking to your principles in teaching but also playing the game where necessary; Gareth Malone's The Choir series and his other shows, which showed how you can try something ambitious, freak out several times along the way but achieve (and get the kids to achieve it, most importantly anyway); and the output of rap artist/workshop runner BREIS, whose book, Brilliant Rappers Educate Intelligent Students gives great material for poetry and performance in the classroom but also has some lyrics that could motivate you as you go along. I recommend it highly.
What are your back-to-school rituals? What resources will you just have to have ready on Day 1?
To finish, some links. First, the Gareth Malone piece that inspired me to recreate it on a smaller scale with my class in a special Singing Assembly. We just used the original Stand By Me track, and adjusted the timing of Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls to fit right over the instrumental. It was seamless by the end, though it took lots of practice for them to get the pitch right as they were essentially harmonising. Most of us had heard the two songs before, but I hadn't realised the bass line was exactly the same, or that the chorus to the latter song fit so well over the instrumental.
http://www.studentoflife.co.uk/
and a video to his own song, Identity- not necessarily ideal for primary classroom use, but an indication of his talent:
Have a great start to the new year, everyone!
Monday, 6 June 2011
CPD shows Literacy's not just at a crossroads.
This evening we had our third successive staff meeting about Writing. I can't remember the last Maths session we had, and forget about the other subjects. It's always assessment or Writing at the moment. These are key issues our school is looking to improve, so I can fully appreciate the focus and as my background is very much in Literacy, Writing in particular, I should be more than happy to dive in, regardless of the fact it's being done after school on a Monday. So why am I not?
The answer, perhaps, lay on Slide 4 of 15, fifty minutes into tonight's meeting on Writing. Last year, a similar meeting about Reading, actually ran to 75 slides. (It was a twilight).
I'm not going to go into all the intricacies of the slideshow, or the brief discussion points that punctuated it. I wouldn't want to relive it, still less inflict it on you. And it's not that there was anything wrong with the content, but...where was the enthusiasm?
There is an increasingly disturbing pattern emerging where any traces of excitement at CPD sessions are linked to the idea of a child reaching a level. Now, I'm not an idiot. Obviously I'm happy if my kids make progress. But the celebration and motivation seems to be linked more and more heavily to criteria and tickable boxes. Questions for two-minute discussions include "How do you teach Writing in your class?"- an open and provocative question, but two minutes? Nobody in my group today had an answer that could be shared that fast, because we see our class as a group of individuals. We differentiate 3 ways in our planning but way more than that in the moment of a lesson.
The Evening Standard has been making a huge deal over the Literacy problems we face in London- although the problems extend to far wider areas than the capital. If you believe them, it's down to bad teaching- an infuriatingly sweeping statement that makes the blood boil, not because there isn't a crisis but because teachers themselves have felt things needed change and yet are now taking the blame.
So where has it all gone wrong? In an age when writing books for children can get you celebrity status and millions of pounds, where children's books are at their most diverse, why are the Literacy levels so down? Because we've overcomplicated it.
Underachievement in Writing is not down to children needing to know what AF should be their focus. It's about engagement, and teachers having the freedom to teach 30 individuals, not 30 potential Level 5s. The latter following the former is great, but it seems we're working on the opposite principle. Show a child how to get Level 5 and they'll suddenly manage it? Perhaps. But you could show me how to play golf. It doesn't mean I'll enjoy it or develop the thirst for it that's necessary to play it more and improve myself. Apart from skills there has to be enthusiasm.
Which brings me neatly back to Slide 4 of 15. It was a mess of AFs, arrows and circles. Slide 5 was different, but only in that it had bullet points and a fancier transition. If you care about Level 5s, this was helpful, and of course we all do to some extent, but does that transfer onto the children? No. To make children enthusiastic, you need to make teachers remember the fun of Writing and Reading too, or to discover it. Slanting the energetic happy vibes onto criteria will not get you very far. Yet, at the moment, that is the angle we're driving from, and it is hopelessly flawed.
So where can it all go right? Well, the National Gallery in London is one place. I recently took part in a training project there all about Writing, using pictures as the starting point. It was a great success, and the most meaningful Inset I've been on, because it treated us as learners of life. Powerpoints were almost non-existent. Most of our time was spent in the Gallery or doing drama or workshops.
The tragedy is that it felt childish at first. And why should it? The whole point is that adults shouldn't stop enjoying stories and art and writing and reading when they turn 18, and teachers certainly shouldn't. We talk about modelling good behaviour, good work, yet those who are responsible for our CPD seem to think powerpoints and arrows and boxes are the best way to enable us to do that.
We need more places to do what the National Gallery do. Celebrate adults as people with passion and skill, and then give them a chance to let that loose in the classroom. We need to be trusted and respected, and given a chance to enjoy the subjects ourselves, or how else will we truly, meaningfully, convey that to the kids?
Monsieur Chips
Monday, 25 April 2011
Teachers TV Struck; Teachers To Strike?
I had wondered what might bring about a new blog during this Easter break. I hadn't particularly expected to have two things to talk about, although of course the ATL and NUT conferences were in the diary a while ago. As, it seems, was the closure of Teachers TV. I'll start with that. When I first heard of Teachers TV back in 2006, I was a little sceptical about it. It was one of a lot of new channels that appeared on my first Freeview box, and my goodness there were (and still are) a lot of pointless experiments. But what I thought was an obscure corner of the schedules actually turned out to be quite the reverse. So often, education websites are limited to a subject or an age-range, but Teachers TV had something across every area of the sector, and was growing rapidly. Only TES Connect covered the same breadth of subjects and age-ranges while providing a community for teachers to share ideas and participate. Teachers TV differed from TES Connect, though, by having a specific purpose to raise standards and boost professional development, while also promoting the shared goal to save time for people working in the sector. It's also believed that it saved valuable money on Continuing Professional Development, and it certainly was increasingly frequently referenced on the CPD courses I attended since 2006.
But perhaps the most important thing about Teachers TV was that it was editorially independent from the government. It was a trusted resource, and a big one. It wasn't 'telling people what to teach', and its mix of output struck a good balance between celebrating the hard work and success of teachers and suggesting new ideas and approaches. The DfE pledges to make all the 15 minute programmes available for free, but will now pick and choose what it will continue to make new- if anything, leaving us without the self-renewing video-rich resource bank that was Teachers TV. TES Connect, for all its many positive points, has its flaws and it not quite as immediately accessible in many ways, and lacks the range of chances to see lessons in action visually rather than by reading accounts of them.
For various reasons, Teachers TV helped me a great deal in my early years as a teacher. I had a disrupted NQT year, and my first full year in class actually came after I'd passed the induction. Without the NQT support to provide extra space for creativity and advice on how to deal with the day-to-day aspects of being a class teacher, the programmes on offer helped me out a lot. In losing Teachers TV as we know it, the profession has lost another supportive pillar which shows no sign of being replaced. It is the latest in a concerning approach from the DfE, whereby rapid and straightforward decision-making (a good thing in principle) is being done far too casually in pursuit of a largely cosmetic vision by Michael Gove's department.
Finally, a word on the NUT strike ballot. I see that all it took was a decision to ballot before the phone-ins and media debates all kicked off again. Many of the general principles that apply here are explored in my Holidays post from a few weeks ago, but it's interesting that the NUT feel they've explored all other options but NASUWT don't. Are the NUT just being militant or are NASUWT being pushovers? That's a debate in itself. In the meantime, what is worth saying is that changing the way someone's pension works while they are in service is a dangerous precedent to set and should not be shrugged off as a necessary budget cut. This applies to every job. Teachers do not, contrary to the view of one Radio 5 Live caller the other night, believe themselves to be the only people who should take a stand. I would certainly support anyone who argued the unacceptability of this type of pensions change, regardless of their career. So, now we await the outcome of the ballot. In the meantime, watch Teachers TV while you can- and let's hope TES Connect are able to pick up some of the slack it leaves behind.
And, of course, enjoy the rest of the holiday!
Monsieur Chips
Monday, 11 April 2011
Good is in the Detail
First of all, thanks to the people who have commented positively on the Holidays post. It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling that strong.
Today was the first 'proper' day of the Easter break. Due to some clever wangling, which may or may not be down to the Head having an extended trip to a distant country, we have 3 weeks off- plenty of time to recharge the batteries. I took the chance to visit some family- none of them teachers, alas, but there are plenty of relatives who are a bit more realistic about what a teacher's life involves. During one conversation I explained my approach to the school holidays- particularly the 'in-year' ones, such as Easter and Christmas and the half terms.
My outlook was this; that for me the holiday is not about not doing work, but rather doing it at a more relaxed pace. I may still do some lesson planning or marking but I can decide to stop now and again, for hours at a time if I wish, to have a snack, watch a DVD or whatever. And don't get me wrong, I do occasionally drop all work for a few days while I gallavant off somewhere for a change of scene.
But even allowing for that inbuilt necessity a lot of us to feel to do some sort of work in the holiday, why are we quite so ready to do it? The answer was, in part, clear today, as I sat editing a video to use in class that is not really necessary but will definitely engage the kids and get them keen on the lessons upon their return.
As I finished the video, I wanted to include some photos from a Science lesson we'd done. As I added them in, I was struck by the expressions on their faces- particularly those in the backgrounds, who were no longer posing cheesily but getting on with trying to construct circuits. Now, my memory of that leson was one of a raucous din in which I wasn't fully sure the class were really on form. We've all had those days, of course, so I didn't worry about it at the time, but on closer inspection of the evidence, it was clear to me that the noise was excited talk about Science and electricty. The eyes sparkled; the 'impressed look' was there.
It strikes me as a little sad that I couldn't see that the lesson was going so well at the time. Perhaps I've become too used to thinking that calm, orderly classrooms are the only kind to have- but then again I've never believed that to necessarily be the case. Has the current box-ticking, scrutinising culture got the better of me? Maybe, maybe not. The point is, the children were looking at those batteries, wires and bulbs with the same enthusiasm I've seen them apply to books, DVDs and computer games. Children never stop learning, and for the most part never lose the ability to be enthused. As teachers, we know this inherently, and as they are always ready to learn, we are always ready to help them do so. Teaching is not just a job, it's a vocation, after all.
Yes, it's seriously hard work and we don't always get the credit from on high or other adults. But it is there to see in the faces of the kids we teach if we just remember to put down that Assessment Grid for a moment and look for it. I'll happily spend time planning some creative and fun lessons this holiday- it's money in the bank, after all, for a busy Summer term, and the space to think is woefully lacking in term time. But I have, at least, learned not to feel guilty for the inevitable day or two where I will slump on the sofa watching terrible TV while the books I meant to mark gather dust on the armchair opposite!
Today was the first 'proper' day of the Easter break. Due to some clever wangling, which may or may not be down to the Head having an extended trip to a distant country, we have 3 weeks off- plenty of time to recharge the batteries. I took the chance to visit some family- none of them teachers, alas, but there are plenty of relatives who are a bit more realistic about what a teacher's life involves. During one conversation I explained my approach to the school holidays- particularly the 'in-year' ones, such as Easter and Christmas and the half terms.
My outlook was this; that for me the holiday is not about not doing work, but rather doing it at a more relaxed pace. I may still do some lesson planning or marking but I can decide to stop now and again, for hours at a time if I wish, to have a snack, watch a DVD or whatever. And don't get me wrong, I do occasionally drop all work for a few days while I gallavant off somewhere for a change of scene.
But even allowing for that inbuilt necessity a lot of us to feel to do some sort of work in the holiday, why are we quite so ready to do it? The answer was, in part, clear today, as I sat editing a video to use in class that is not really necessary but will definitely engage the kids and get them keen on the lessons upon their return.
As I finished the video, I wanted to include some photos from a Science lesson we'd done. As I added them in, I was struck by the expressions on their faces- particularly those in the backgrounds, who were no longer posing cheesily but getting on with trying to construct circuits. Now, my memory of that leson was one of a raucous din in which I wasn't fully sure the class were really on form. We've all had those days, of course, so I didn't worry about it at the time, but on closer inspection of the evidence, it was clear to me that the noise was excited talk about Science and electricty. The eyes sparkled; the 'impressed look' was there.
It strikes me as a little sad that I couldn't see that the lesson was going so well at the time. Perhaps I've become too used to thinking that calm, orderly classrooms are the only kind to have- but then again I've never believed that to necessarily be the case. Has the current box-ticking, scrutinising culture got the better of me? Maybe, maybe not. The point is, the children were looking at those batteries, wires and bulbs with the same enthusiasm I've seen them apply to books, DVDs and computer games. Children never stop learning, and for the most part never lose the ability to be enthused. As teachers, we know this inherently, and as they are always ready to learn, we are always ready to help them do so. Teaching is not just a job, it's a vocation, after all.
Yes, it's seriously hard work and we don't always get the credit from on high or other adults. But it is there to see in the faces of the kids we teach if we just remember to put down that Assessment Grid for a moment and look for it. I'll happily spend time planning some creative and fun lessons this holiday- it's money in the bank, after all, for a busy Summer term, and the space to think is woefully lacking in term time. But I have, at least, learned not to feel guilty for the inevitable day or two where I will slump on the sofa watching terrible TV while the books I meant to mark gather dust on the armchair opposite!
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Site update
I've spent the morning moving some bits around, so one or two bits are in the wrong order to original publication. The most recent is my Holidays post, which is below the Hogwarts Ofsted, or follow the link on the right.
More regular udpates to come in the near future...
Monsieur Chips
More regular udpates to come in the near future...
Monsieur Chips
Hogwarts Ofsted Report
OFSTED REPORT
School: HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
LEA: HOGSMEADE
Head Teacher at Time of Inspection: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE. SORT OF.About the School
Hogwarts is a larger than average, and slightly more eccentric than average, secondary school for boys who act like girls and girls who act like boys, aged 11-18. It is a boarding school, occupying a fine medieval building in large grounds. The school has a long history of which it is proud. Hogwarts is situated in an area of mainly private-owned accomodation. Parents tend to be professional in a flexible definition of the word.Inspector’s Findings Since the Last Inspection
The school has spiralled downwards since the last inspection. At that time it was deemed to be satisfactory, on the basis that the number of fatalties caused by jinxes and spells amongst the grounds was always offset by the number of corpses brought back to life as part of the Necromancy course in the Sixth Form. Since the arrival of a particularly disruptive pupil in 1997, fatalities have increased dramatically.
The school is generally led well, although at the time of inspection some exceptionally poor staffing decisions have led to pupils experiencing much instability. This culminated in a particularly tragic incident last year which will no doubt leave the school in turmoil. In one subject, there have been five teachers in as many years. Staff turnover is otherwise stable.
The premises itself is in need of urgent renewal. Space is not well-used, and in one case an entire floor was unused due to the presence of a 3-headed dog. Indeed the general attitude to Health and Safety is extremely lax. Inspectors were particularly concerned when using the stairs, finding their constant motion to be a severe hazard to children and adult’s welfare. Matters are further complicated by the presence of a number of poltergeists, who routinely smash windows, leaving broken glass strewn across corridors. In addition, the school has chronic trouble in keeping pupils safe. Escaped murderers and beings that suck all happiness out of souls have all been present. In particular, having your joy sucked out of your soul is not condusive to a positive learning environment.
The school provides barely adequate value for money.CURRICULUM PROVISION
Literacy, Numeracy, Science
None of these subjects appear to be taught in their own right. There was no evidence found to indicate use of the Primary Strategies, and when the topic of ‘Time’ was taught, pupils were mistakenly being taught that it was possible to go back in time and view your own arse from a different angle. In Literacy, pupils were seen to be writing diary entries in blank books. In Science, the teaching of reflection incorrectly teaches pupils that amongst the things one can see reflected in a mirror is one’s wildest dream. One pupil was seen to be seeking his future in a mirror- a major misconception. Pupils are also taught that it is possible to cause a feather to levitate and that stone contains life-extending properties. Subject knowledge of staff is highly questionable and the National Curriculum needs to be implemented.History, RE, Geography
Although the school’s own history is referred to at interminable length on a great many occasions, the teaching of world history is extremely limited. The only awareness of other countries seems to be derived from Quidditch teams. Pupils often visit the local village of Hogsmeade. Although in principle this is a positive experience, Hogsmeade itself is the magical equivalent of a Bracknell backalley and is of no educational merit whatsoever. Inspectors found that the only stimulating thing to do was get plastered at the local tavern, then high on sugar at the local sweet shop. This is of course not in keeping with the Healthy Schools Initiative. Not that the school has actually adopted it.
RE is poorly taught. Instead of being taught about other faiths, pupils are more often encouraged to think of themselves as God. At the other extreme, the Potions teacher clearly models himself on Satan. There is a balance lacking here.PE
The school has attempted to implement a new initiave for PE, called TopSpells. This has had limited success, however, due to the school’s extreme bias for the sport of Quidditch. There is no Gymnastics, no Dance and no Athletics. Quidditch itself is a poor game physically, as children are not required to run. The Health and Safety implications are significant, as the game is played at a high altitude and involves posessed balls pursuing children on broomsticks. Several players have injured themselves, and one had to have an arm regrown.ICT
Inspectors were forced to admit that in a school of wizardry and witchcraft, computers look somewhat pointless. Nonetheless, as a core subject, inspectors expected to find evidence of an ICT suite, which they did not. However, this also meant that there were no mobile phones playing incessantly irritating ringtones, which is something to be thankful for. We would recommend that the school’s ICT Co-ordinator (once one is actually appointed) liases with BECTA for advice on including ICT in Magic.DIFFERENTIATION
No provision was made for the less able. Those who did not attain high levels in lessons were insulted and ostracised. In the case of Transfiguration this did indeed involve being turned into an ostrich. However, challanges for the more able were certainly in evidence. In one excellent case, gifted and talented children were entered for a competition in which death was a high possibility. By involving able children in mortal games that risked drowning, asphyxiation and murder, motivation remained high.SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL NEEDS
SEN provision is on the one hand excellent. Given the range of powers that all children have, they are technically all SEN. However, by selecting only wizards and witches and not allowing ‘muggles’ to enter, the school is over selective and does not provide a fair education to all who apply. It is also highly ironic that although access to the school can be gained by boat, broomstick, flying car, non-existent train, poltergeist activity and time travel, there is no wheelchair access. Given the excessive rate of injury, this seems surprising.EAL
Provision for English as an Additional Language is again extremely uneven. While not one child has learned French, German, Spanish, Punjabi, Italian, Gaelic, Welsh, Danish, Dutch etc, many children can speak Latin, and in one case Parseltongue. OFSTED do not stipulate that speaking to reptiles should be compulsory and though is a damned useful skill, we recommend more emphasis on more common modern foreign languages.OVERALL SCORE: 4 (POOR)
This originally links back to an article I found on the TES forums- see http://community.tes.co.uk/forums/p/87577/87577.aspx
School: HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
LEA: HOGSMEADE
Head Teacher at Time of Inspection: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE. SORT OF.About the School
Hogwarts is a larger than average, and slightly more eccentric than average, secondary school for boys who act like girls and girls who act like boys, aged 11-18. It is a boarding school, occupying a fine medieval building in large grounds. The school has a long history of which it is proud. Hogwarts is situated in an area of mainly private-owned accomodation. Parents tend to be professional in a flexible definition of the word.Inspector’s Findings Since the Last Inspection
The school has spiralled downwards since the last inspection. At that time it was deemed to be satisfactory, on the basis that the number of fatalties caused by jinxes and spells amongst the grounds was always offset by the number of corpses brought back to life as part of the Necromancy course in the Sixth Form. Since the arrival of a particularly disruptive pupil in 1997, fatalities have increased dramatically.
The school is generally led well, although at the time of inspection some exceptionally poor staffing decisions have led to pupils experiencing much instability. This culminated in a particularly tragic incident last year which will no doubt leave the school in turmoil. In one subject, there have been five teachers in as many years. Staff turnover is otherwise stable.
The premises itself is in need of urgent renewal. Space is not well-used, and in one case an entire floor was unused due to the presence of a 3-headed dog. Indeed the general attitude to Health and Safety is extremely lax. Inspectors were particularly concerned when using the stairs, finding their constant motion to be a severe hazard to children and adult’s welfare. Matters are further complicated by the presence of a number of poltergeists, who routinely smash windows, leaving broken glass strewn across corridors. In addition, the school has chronic trouble in keeping pupils safe. Escaped murderers and beings that suck all happiness out of souls have all been present. In particular, having your joy sucked out of your soul is not condusive to a positive learning environment.
The school provides barely adequate value for money.CURRICULUM PROVISION
Literacy, Numeracy, Science
None of these subjects appear to be taught in their own right. There was no evidence found to indicate use of the Primary Strategies, and when the topic of ‘Time’ was taught, pupils were mistakenly being taught that it was possible to go back in time and view your own arse from a different angle. In Literacy, pupils were seen to be writing diary entries in blank books. In Science, the teaching of reflection incorrectly teaches pupils that amongst the things one can see reflected in a mirror is one’s wildest dream. One pupil was seen to be seeking his future in a mirror- a major misconception. Pupils are also taught that it is possible to cause a feather to levitate and that stone contains life-extending properties. Subject knowledge of staff is highly questionable and the National Curriculum needs to be implemented.History, RE, Geography
Although the school’s own history is referred to at interminable length on a great many occasions, the teaching of world history is extremely limited. The only awareness of other countries seems to be derived from Quidditch teams. Pupils often visit the local village of Hogsmeade. Although in principle this is a positive experience, Hogsmeade itself is the magical equivalent of a Bracknell backalley and is of no educational merit whatsoever. Inspectors found that the only stimulating thing to do was get plastered at the local tavern, then high on sugar at the local sweet shop. This is of course not in keeping with the Healthy Schools Initiative. Not that the school has actually adopted it.
RE is poorly taught. Instead of being taught about other faiths, pupils are more often encouraged to think of themselves as God. At the other extreme, the Potions teacher clearly models himself on Satan. There is a balance lacking here.PE
The school has attempted to implement a new initiave for PE, called TopSpells. This has had limited success, however, due to the school’s extreme bias for the sport of Quidditch. There is no Gymnastics, no Dance and no Athletics. Quidditch itself is a poor game physically, as children are not required to run. The Health and Safety implications are significant, as the game is played at a high altitude and involves posessed balls pursuing children on broomsticks. Several players have injured themselves, and one had to have an arm regrown.ICT
Inspectors were forced to admit that in a school of wizardry and witchcraft, computers look somewhat pointless. Nonetheless, as a core subject, inspectors expected to find evidence of an ICT suite, which they did not. However, this also meant that there were no mobile phones playing incessantly irritating ringtones, which is something to be thankful for. We would recommend that the school’s ICT Co-ordinator (once one is actually appointed) liases with BECTA for advice on including ICT in Magic.DIFFERENTIATION
No provision was made for the less able. Those who did not attain high levels in lessons were insulted and ostracised. In the case of Transfiguration this did indeed involve being turned into an ostrich. However, challanges for the more able were certainly in evidence. In one excellent case, gifted and talented children were entered for a competition in which death was a high possibility. By involving able children in mortal games that risked drowning, asphyxiation and murder, motivation remained high.SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL NEEDS
SEN provision is on the one hand excellent. Given the range of powers that all children have, they are technically all SEN. However, by selecting only wizards and witches and not allowing ‘muggles’ to enter, the school is over selective and does not provide a fair education to all who apply. It is also highly ironic that although access to the school can be gained by boat, broomstick, flying car, non-existent train, poltergeist activity and time travel, there is no wheelchair access. Given the excessive rate of injury, this seems surprising.EAL
Provision for English as an Additional Language is again extremely uneven. While not one child has learned French, German, Spanish, Punjabi, Italian, Gaelic, Welsh, Danish, Dutch etc, many children can speak Latin, and in one case Parseltongue. OFSTED do not stipulate that speaking to reptiles should be compulsory and though is a damned useful skill, we recommend more emphasis on more common modern foreign languages.OVERALL SCORE: 4 (POOR)
This originally links back to an article I found on the TES forums- see http://community.tes.co.uk/forums/p/87577/87577.aspx
Holidays
Okay, so I never got round to posting my second part of review of the year. Basically, it was frantic with nice bits and bad bits and generally ok. There. Done. Now back to 2011.
And it's the holidays! What, again? I must admit, I can't say I've noticed. Teaching is like one big long holiday after all.
I was informed (admittedly, as a joke, or so I hope) by a friend recently that because of the length of my holiday I would have no right to make any sort of complaint about the difficulty of work upon my return. But he wasn't being overly funny when he said it.
And he couldn't be more right.
What possible cause would I have to let off any sort of steam at, say, taking care of thirty young children for 6 hours a day, usually without any help? After all, parents have often been keen to point out that looking after one child is quite easy, with two or three or even more also being quite a stroll. Thirty is only about 27 more than the average parent has, so it can't be hard. I mean, if you had 3 pence, then got 27 more, it wouldn't make a big difference to your life savings, right? Right.
And it is cheeky in the extreme that teachers suggest that being responsible for these children's education is in any way a pressure. It's not like they get inspected, or assessed by the local authority or anything. It's not like teachers are held responsible for every mark or level their children do or not achieve. Maybe if we lived in a world where schools and their staff were judged by an organisation that could shut a school down, remove lots of its staff, or brand it 'inadequate' based on test results, teachers would have a case. But what would you even call an organisation like that? Ofsted? Don't be silly!
Even if teachers did have any sort of pressure, the holidays do of course make everything right. With 13 weeks a year only a fool would fail to see that having 13 weeks out of 52 out of the classroom means that anything that happens in the other 39 must be just lovely.
I really ought to have considered this last month as I filled in a mental health assessment for an 8 year-old child. Being a weak-minded character (no doubt brought on by the easy nature of the job I do), I found the prospect of a child having severe learning difficulties, schizophrenia and an unsupportive family vaguely upsetting, particularly after a day of being the listening ear to all sort of trivial worries from the other children, such as how to read, write and count. I was even soft enough to feel some emotion towards the girl who missed her dead sister, and the boy who had witnessed some domestic violence on the eve of the birth of his sibling. Obviously I should have just thought about how everything was fine because ultimately I'd have 13 weeks to forget about all this stress. And we do. The idea that teachers give their pupils any thought outside the school term is ludicrous. To express any sort of feeling about such small matters is churlish.
It's true that we should show more humility for our time off. Teachers do, of course, have a reputation for winding up everyone else by bragging endlessly about their holidays. Just the other day I walked into the local coffee shop and, upon looking at the business hours listed on the door, announced casually to the barista that I envied him his 5pm finish. A cosy little shop with coffee and pastries on demand, I thought to myself. Cushy indeed.
"But I have to get up at 4.30am to prepare the bakery and open at 6.45am," he said.
"Piffle," I replied. "You have those precious evening hours."
Teachers, unlike all other workers, have genuine time off in those 13 weeks. When was the last time you heard a teacher say they were spending any of their holiday marking books? What do you mean you haven't asked? What do you mean you don't know any teachers? Obviously that can't be the case or you wouldn't be so qualified to speak about how nice their job is. What's that? You know because you remember being at school? Well yes, that is the exact same thing. I too remember my teacher arriving at the same time as me in the mornings, setting up the classroom while also doing the register, preparing all the resources on the spot without even leaving the room, and then going home with us at 3.15pm, while the books- and the 270 or so pieces of work we created each day marked themselves. There were no meetings I was aware of; no forms to fill in.
These teachers who claim to have marking and planning to do in their spare time are simply fabricating. It's all a big con to try and justify their nice holidays while the rest of the population actually do some work. We should be ashamed of ourselves and the way we believe nobody else works hard or deserves more holiday. Any member of the profession who claims not to have time to read books or live their life is obviously plain disorganised- yes, even that 59 year-old teacher with the excellent record and reputation. Just doesn't know how to use her time- a disgrace.
We are sinners and should know our place. Thank goodness we've got 13 weeks a year to reflect on the easy, morally questionable lives we lead.
Bonjour Monsieur Chips
Just in the process of relocating blog sites. Stay tuned.
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